THE UNDERGROUND TRAIN DRIVER'S GARDEN

Ladies and gentlemen
This is a service announcement:
Due to an earlier signals failure
In the Moorgate area
There are severe delays
On the Metropolitan Line.

The train on Platform 3
Will be the first train to leave
But currently the driver
Is at the wrong end of the train.

The driver has been informed
And the train on Platform 3
Will leave shortly.

And when it does
The driver’s shift
Which he thought
Had come to an end
Will end at Uxbridge
Not Baker Street
As he was fondly imagining.

Your journey will be
As fast as he can make it
Within, of course,
The safety regulations.

And as soon as possible
After you have reached
Your destination
Your driver
Not a little disgruntled
Will be making his excuses
To his wife
And will be pouring
Just like you
A glass of chilled white wine
In his garden.