THE DICTATOR'S GARDEN

“Let a thousand flowers bloom!
AS LONG AS THEY ARE ALLIN MY FRONT GARDEN!”

Garden staff are under strict instructions
To remove every plant which is not performing
As well as it should be, according to the rules of the garden.

It is strictly forbidden for the public to enter.
“This is my garden! For my pleasure only!”

Birds and bees are to be encouraged
But only at their allotted hours.

No flowering is allowed
In anything other
Than the requisite colours.

Only national rain is permitted.
Rain from fast-travelling clouds
Will be presumed to be foreign
And as such – banned.

At first hint of such clouds the groundsheet procedure will be implemented.

Any children’s balls coming over the walls will be punctured immediately.

Grass is not permitted. It is not one of our national colours.

All flower beds are to be in the shape of The National Emblem.

All bushes and hedges are to be trimmed at dawn
To preserve their representation of the Leader’s person.

When the Leader is in residence
All garden staff will be blindfolded

They will perform their duties
Under the guidance of the Leader’s Personal Guard.

Cats which stray into the garden are welcome at all times
They are creatures of the Divine and must be protected at all times.